# 15 A CONFESSION: I DRESS LIKE A GIRL

So yesterday I bought this beautiful coat:



Okay, it is purple. It is a little short in the arms, but with something with a long sleeve underneath and maybe a black leather glove, I KNOW IT CAN WORK. it's all about the Jackie O drama-collar and a big pair of shades right?

When I bumped into my girlfriend Luke, I asked him if he thought it was (and it's a favourite question of mine) "TOO FAGGY?".
Pausing for a moment, and mustering a dead-pan manner that you would never imagine possible for someone with PURPLE HAIR, he responded: "well, it IS a ladies coat...."

FUCK.

Throughout my life, as many of you know, I have worn many a woman's garment, with varying responses. Who could forget, at a friends birthday drinks around 6pm at the Gaslight, I showed up in a red satin, leopard printed "secretary" blouse complete with Pussy-Bow, and was subsequently surprised when my entrance to the pub was greeted with an uproar of laughter?

There was also the year or so where I firmly believed a coloured stocking with a matching wig was a veeerrryy good look. At a Auckland Sunday Star Times shoot for "Sexiest Aucklanders" (lol I'll NEVER GET OVER THAT ONE!) I wore an exquisite hot pink silk kimono by Miss Crabb.

I've fallen down stairs in thigh-high lace-up patent leather stripper heels. I don't think I've EVER bought a pair of men's jeans, and most nights of the week, my face will have at the very LEAST a lick of bronzer and a smokey eye courtesy of MAC.

It seems to me, in an age where we should know BETTER, there still remains a stale whiff of meaningless rules regarding what sex can wear what clothing. It doesn't make sense to me. So with that in mind, I'm going to continue to wear WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT, regardless of whether the garment was designed for someone with a cunt or a cock.

Because lets face it. You don't need a Pussy to wear a pair of heels.....You just need the feet to put in them....

XXXPSYCHXXX

#14 A REBUTTAL TO THE BELIEF THAT FASHION IS SUPERFICIAL

There is a belief, amongst boring arseholes, that fashion is superficial. I suppose it is easy to form this opinion, given that a lot of the core values of the industry are based upon an obsession with beauty, glamour, youth etc. I guess the reason that this belief has always surprised me, is that it seems to bypass the pure joy of living that fashion celebrates, and the rebellion it stokes against the often dreary, depressive factors that comprise day to day living.

When I was seventeen I went fruit-picking in the apple and pear orchards in the South Island of New Zealand for three months (!). Tripping on Acid for most of the time, and WELL AND TRULY OUT OF MY ELEMENT, I picked up a copy of Marx's Materialistic Conception of History in an op-shop. Marx argues that the basis of all laws and moral codes is the construction of a stable, functioning economy, not any innate willingness of people to do "the right thing". For example, The seven Commandments "Thou shalt not steal" was created so that people would be proactive in creating industries, because they knew that no one would take their shit (protecting the investment of their personal labour), and that if they wanted shit they had to work for it themselves and not steal it.

This had a profound affect on me. Though I had already suspected it, it sealed my belief that the best reason for living was to create Art. For, if we are not put on this earth to tally-up good deeds to ensure entrance to "heaven" (lol), and everything we know about right and wrong is built on the formation of a functioning economy, then surely the best way to spend the brief 75 years or so we have on earth is wrapping ourselves in the world we have created: Music. Art. Film. Literature. Fashion.

Okay so obviously that was a bit of a fucking ramble. My point is, Fashion, I feel, is the least superficial of all the human faculties. The reason? like it says in The Devil Wears Prada: "We Live Our Lives In It". There is not a SINGLE person on earth who is not touched daily by fashion. The first boy you kiss, The first time you fall in love, the first time you have bum sex....all of these things are connected, at the very least physically, to the clothing you were wearing at the time.

Wearing clothing is the easiest way to impact the world around you. It is the quickest way to express who you are, without words or actions. It's true that what we wear is only on the surface-a picture....but that picture can speak a thousand, million, words.....

XXXPSYCHXXX

# 13 THE FABULOUS AND THE VILE OF THE WEEK JUST GONE

Look I realise it's Tuesday, and we're almost half way through the fucking week. It's just that I have a well established tradition on long weekends to absolutley trash myself beyond recognition, as some of you probably know.

Last weekend was rather more hectic than usual as I had my first solo stylist gig on Sunday, with photographer Morgan Hyslop, dressing the girls from http://www.anniieemal.blogspot.com/. They were really cute and totes HOT and I layered them like nobodies business in truckload of feathers and rags and shit. Naturally I'll post a couple of pics up when IM ALLOWED....

but back to last week......

FABULOUS: what I loved last week:

KYLIE MCKENZIE FOR JIMMY D CRYSTAL PRINT SINGLET:



Spring 2010 is heavy on crystal worship (the legal kind) and this little number is the perfect piece to channel your inner pagan goddess or shaman....HAIL TO THE GUARDIANS OF THE WATCHTOWERS OF THE WEST I INVOKE THEE! Think Fairuza Balk in THE CRAFT (the one that goes crazy but wears loads of excellent dog-chokers) and Cher in The Witches of Eastwick....

HUNKY DOREY SOCIAL CLUB:



These two are the owners of new venue HUNKY DOREY SOCIAL CLUB above that seafood Restaurant "the Balkan" on Oxford Street. SWOON!!!! They look like surfers from the 1970's responding to a dare to be hotter than the Kings Of Leon... I managed to get a sly peak at the place, which is under construction, mid last week. ITS OFF THE CHAIN! there are three intimate levels, with an amazing balcony covered in potplants with a mezzanine on top of that with views to the city....I CANT WAIT....

MARK RONSON FOR GUCCI SHOES:



In my fantasy, Mark Ronson is wearing nothing but these shoes, a big grin and telling me he's going to produce my debut album then flicking on his ipod to the song that he made for me with Lily Allen and making love to me for 48 hours.....Seriously is there nothing this man cannot do????? love the polkadots. It's time to get DANDY boys...

DAHPNE GUINNESS AT CHRISTIES GREEN AUCTION:



Okay IT'S ACTUALLY STARTING TO HURT TO LOOK AT THIS BITCH. She can do no wrong. Shes a satiny Oasis of pastel blue with a touch of Lawrence of Arabia, all held together by a perfectly coloured Birkin and kick-you-in-the-cunt platforms straight from Studio 54. Kill Me.

VILE: what i loathed last week:

NO FREE DRINKS AT FLINDERS BAR RE-OPENING:



So. I was pretty excited about the re-opening of Flinders, especially when I found the majority of the owners are the boys from KSUBI. It was a bit of a let-down. I knew that the crowd would ve-ry Bondi, but figured what with historical hijinks of those boys it would be a special night. It wasn't. Admittedly I didn't stay for long. But essentially the place is a pub. It could be so much MORE! Of course, I will give it a second chance, so hopefully I just got a bad first impression....

SHERYL CROW AT US WEEKLY HOT US STYLE AWARDS:



Oh, Sheryl. This is a fucking floral dish-rag. NEVER teem a three-quarter dress with boots, it makes you look like a dwarf. Get back to me when you've got a LITTLE RELEVANCE, be it music or fashion.....

I'M LOSING THE BATTLE IN CONTROLLING MY DESPERATION TO SEE THE HBO GREY GARDENS TV SERIES:

oh god how gooood does it look?

GET ON MY SCREEN!!! The original Grey Gardens documentary on the lives of American Aritsocrats and dishevelled Fashion Icons "Big" and "Little" Edie Beale is far and away my favourite doco. HBO has long hyped the release of it's TV series based on the film, starring Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange. I'm so looking forward to seeing Drew in something that isn't a Rom-
Com train-wreck, she actually rules. I CANT GET IT ANYWHERE! surely if they are watching it in the states it must be available SOMEWHERE? Can anyone help?????


XXXPSYCHXXX

# 12 M.I.A's NEW VIDEO "BORN FREE"

Okay, Okay so obviously I've been a little absent blog-wise of late. It's just that, what with alllll of the insanity of the long ANZAC weekend, the truth is I'm still recovering from a vvvvverrrryyyyy big weekend.....

Anyhow I awoke to find M.I.A's new music video "Born Free". It's kinda a little more gutsy and almost punkish than a lot of her other stuff, and even though the story for the clip is about Rangy Gingas, it rocks me to my very core:



Gimme a coupe of hours, twenty coffees and a half pack of Peter Styvesants to get what's left of my mind back, and I'll post my list of The Fabulous and the Vile of last week. ...


XXXPSYCHXXX

#11 A WHORE FOR A FUR: IN SUPPORT OF SKINNING USELESS ANIMALS SO WE CAN WEAR THEM!!!!

As has probably been established, I'm a total whore for a fur coat. I'm talking a spread-my-legs, pillow biting, eager little hussy, who's more than happy to DO ANYTHING in pursuit of a good fur. Actually scratch that. The fur doesn't even have to be particularly good. The tattier, more fucked-out it is, the more I love it....

I know there are those of you out there who disagree, in light of the cruelty necessary to produce a fur coat. I shudder at the logistics myself. But fuck it, millions of animals are slaughtered annually for everything from food to acrylic nail glue SO WHATEVES BABES, in for a penny in for a pound, YOU GOTTA MAKE HAY WHILE THE SUN SHINES, and if they they're gonna be killed anyway we might as well get something really pretty for our wardrobes right????

In celebration of the beauty, the glamour and the downright GENIUS of fur, I'm gonna share with ya'll two of my favourite clips involving chicas with Fur...and, YES, they are both black AND WHAT NIGGA?

DIANA ROSS:



What is that Diana, Like 50 minks? Then you just throw it on the stage like it ain't no thang? GOOD GIRL!

EARTHA KITT:



Okay so she's not technically WEARING IT, but she has covered every conceivable surface in the pelt of a very rare jungle cat, THAT"S GOTTA COUNT FOR SOMETHING....PS this is like, my favourite song ever, obviously.....

XXXPSYCHXXX

#10 HIGH FASHION RICH BITCHES, THE RONNIES, AND SINGAPOREAN MUDCRAB

So yesterday I assisted on this AMAZING beauty shoot.

The story was about these trashy rich bitches in furs and Armani and Cavalli and Barbara Hutton-esque jewels (as in the woolworth heiress who, in the depths of the 1930's Great Depression inherited $150 mill only to die 50 years later with $2000 in her chequeing account after pissing ALL of her fortune away, mostly on jewels that she then gave away to strangers, INCLUDING a tiara made for CATHERINE THE GREAT!) and loads of slutty latex and silky lingerie.

Here's a lil' sneak peak.







After we wrapped, Cassie and I realized that we (like most in the fashion industry) were STARVING!!! In a stroke of genius, she suggested we get some Singaporean Mudcrab at this dodgy little upstairs restaurant with pussy-pink muslin curtains and a big happy chinese lookin' guy on the sign outside:


who's a happy crabman???


BEFORE:



AFTER:



Congratulating ourselves on discovering a new hidden treasure of Sydney Dining, on the way out we were confronted BY THIS:



UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!!!!

Sometimes it feels like you can't even scratch your fucking arse in this town without the Ronnies having already been there, done that! You gotta give it to the girls though, they know a thing or two about CRABS....it was delicious....lol!

XXXPSYCHXXX

#9 MY NEW FAVOURITIST BITCH: BUNNY HOLIDAY

Everything is re-he-he-he-hEALLY hectic right now.

I've just worked my balls off assisting on a film shoot, on 12 hour days starting at 5am (!) with only plunger coffee and NOT EVEN a hint of crystal meth. I have entered a kind of whoozey, shrunken eyed, half alive state that I imagine my bonghead friends (you know who you are) inhabit constantly....

Tommorow I'm working on a shoot for Noise Magazine. The stylist I'm assisting ( Cassandra Scott-Finn ) is the kind of girl that has more furs than Elizabeth Taylor, more shoes than Imelda Marcos and more feathers than Big Bird. I'll let you know how it goes......

Anywho, a couple of weeks back, I discovered this chick:

BUNNY HOLIDAY & POP LEVI: "teach me how to bunny"



She's just the sort of bitch I have mucho respect for. She's slutty-lookin'. She like's a fur. She's starving-looking. And even though she has no talent to speak of (other than being able to give bangin' fellatio to record company executives) she's gonna release her own music. And THEN just to spite those haters, she's gonna be sooo bored she barely opens her mouth to sing ANYWAY MMMMKAY!

I thought I'd share. It's so fucking good hey.

xxxPSYCHxxx